Christmas what ??? over ??? yeahhhhhhhh

So We survived Christmas is finally over Just the new year's and that's it We can now get back to normality ...again !!!So how was Your Christmas beside loads of sweets food and alcohol filled whit unwanted gifts guests or advices maybe someone pissed U just for fun Isn't that what Christmas is all about spending time with people U don't like and don't see for the whole year ? Or maybe U're from more normal family with normal boundaries and U spend it with people U love and they love U back And gifts are not important but people with U And no one insult U or fight with U just cuz U are loving family and that's what U do !! Well I don't think much people have the other scenario I think most people have problems during Christmas they struggling with no money with angry relatives and spoiled children I guess the best Christmas would be Christmas without all that commercials adds toys deco lights songs etc .. That's my opinion

Back finally after all that puffff.. loads to tell and moan about ...

Whoever read it Happy LATE Christmas wishes xox

Overtired ? ... Must be Christmas !!!!!

Cooking cleaning and guest having Tired wrecked and all at once Blog must wait Family comes first 

                                
   TBC......

it's hard ... Fight !!

It's hard to raise a child and try to do a good job All Mum and Dads struggle on day to day basics But what can U do if your own flesh and blood will fight against you What's the best solution Well the truth is that there is none At one point we all gonna do or say things we normally wouldn't  We all in the end wish to do things better But we can't change it now when its done We could just avoid it in future But when U are at that point that all breaks are lose and U reach your limits then what Will U remember to not shout again ??? Will U be calm ??? The answer to that is noooooo never ...... Its really hard to be all the time best In the end when the children are older they will tell U what was wrong and again U will have that felling U can't change anything But we can try do are best fix things stop the destruction path in their life's Being angry it's normal but would U be ok if your child done huge mistakes in life cuz U didn't try to change yourself your methods etc. I would be guttered Me myself not perfect as well struggling all the time but I love my children and will do anything for them But some days are not so good so even me as a parent doo huge mistakes and later on regrets them But the key to all that is to fix whatever U broke and put huge amount of love into their life's Cuz in the end they learn everything from U And no matter how much they will try they will do same mistakes regarding their children So try to avoid wrong situations as much as possible That U know U gave them really good life and they will continue to give it later on in adult life to their family
Its hard not to repeat your parents mistakes Everyone does it the thing is when U realize it just stop and remember how unhappy u were when it happened to U

'' Family its most important thing in the world so don't ruin it because your past was bad ''
                                                                          
                                                                                     ..B.KE..

Fakers ...feckers .. F*ckers ???????

Have you ever wonder about worthless friends ???

Today I was thinking why oh why people want to pretend that they are Your friends Never clearly understand that and maybe never will In my life thank God I've never had such a experience with these type of people But I've heard loads of stories about it And one just stayed with me Its a story about '' friends from childhood '' 

So let say they were two girls ''besties'' as they said about each other They were living on the same estate since they were born they went to the same school , even when they grow up had a job boyfriends etc they still saw each other every weekend or so .

Life was great until one of them got into a mess in her life Health issues then work etc All of the sudden  the other one stops all calls txt she started acting different The one in trouble was confused she though she could always count on her '' bestie '' but that wasn't a case anymore 

U may ask why what happened The truth is when U look back and hear all their stories U would notice that just one of them was always supportive that just one of them always was there to help So when the helpful one got in trouble the other one just disappeared of her life 

The pain was horrible for that who was left behind She couldn't understand why ???

Thats what's gonna happen when U have fake people beside U 

U trust them and say to Yourself that when the time will came for them to help U they will 

The truth is '' NO'' that time will never arrive Even if U in real trouble even with your own life Fake friend don't have use for U anymore so they just leave U And that's the painful truth The only thing we can hope for is that LIFE WILL GET THEM eventually !!!

Life is too short !!!!!!!!!!

school ground ohhhhhhhhh

We're getting closer to christmas break and to be honest moms are acting like they're on drugs !!!! Big time !!! Maybe they are stressed cuz of the plays and shopping cleaning etc etc I don't know Most of them are trying to be posh and the rest well it's U may say well rich What kind before Christmas is worst well I say both Those who try to BE! act something like '' Well we gonna go there and here then we gonna have massive dinner whit all our friends we asked everyone we know and kids will get this new toys everyone would like '' well the truth is less positive they just saying that cuz no money for Christmas its hard to admit and swallow Cuz saying we're not going anywhere and kids will have to play with less desirable toys it's not an option Cuz you need to keep up your appearance people will talk if u don't I think its sad that people have to act like that cuz they think no one will like them talk to them If U ask me its just plain craziness  What about other Rich moms well listen to them its painful as well So the main topic is how many trees they have in house after that is where they going to spend Christmas cuz cold is soooo last year so maybe bahamas? Few chats about nanny's and other staff at home how they are useful and so nice Well basically chat about people like they chat about accessories like phone watch etc Its just sad in my opinion Then in the end gifts Most of them for children ( age 6+)  well I pad's I phones the best and soooo expensive but babies only deserve the best For the rest of family coffee machines , phones , vouchers for huge amounts , laptops , dvd players , game consoles U named they will get it but only full option and most desirable
I guess it's sad cuz we're loosing the spirit of Christmas and family together Now its just gifts alcohol and who had biggest deco and went for greatest Christmas escape abroad Kids well if they getting so expensive presents being 6 so what gonna be when they are 17 ??? ( what happened to bikes books   dolls board games coloring books )

     ''We are living in weird times when most people want to spend time with phone not on the phone''

                                                                                                            ...B.KE

After all

Come back to the family past subject After all those years fights etc finally came peace and our little dysfunctional family start to look really good We even started to celebrate holidays together as a whole family which consist of my hub me and children and my sister hub and children But yes its always BUT !! it didn't last About 6 years ago things started to slip Going downhill slowly but at constant pace getting faster and faster every year And about a year ago it went to those speeds You are just unable to stop What happen well one of the member in our family felt unloved , jealous , bitter etc The reason well apparently a few of them but not really a true reasons were told to other members and a huge fight began Not talking , calling names , accusing or being just plain jealous So it was one against few But I guess we felt something was not right that the reasons we were told are not true and that some little pain in the a** is behind all of this And U know what really happened ? One of the hubsters do all of it was so dark an bitter that he convinced his wife to go against her family Stupid as she was she listened to him and done a really bad things and hurt many people BUT (always the f but )
                                            
   TBC....

BUT life is unexpected and u never know what gonna happen So after a while karma got her They lost a car short after that lost a home cuz financial struggle (Her hubby decided to have a fight with his boss so he lost a job ) So when whole world is collapsing on to you You want to count on family cuz they will always help Well not this time Cuz she done some horrible stuff there was no one to give help or advice For a long time they were pretending that everything is fine Her husband said to her that he will never ask anyone from her side of family for help cuz they are all ****** At that point she blindly believed him even tho they didn't have anything But when after a few weeks her only children start to be hungry and cold Hubby was just not enough He tried to say stuff to her and hope she will still believe what he said about her family was true but her mother instinct was stronger In the end she went to apologies her family She apologized for everything and how stupid she was that she let him take over her decisions her phone friends and most important family They took her in cuz they knew she wasn't herself before and that she was lost In the end she told her hubby '' Get a life and be out of mine'' She took kids move to another city start fresh and now U may ask well that part still needs to be written

                                                                             Family ?

Family or family ....

So today I've decided to write about my family You need to be really strong and open minded to be in it
I'm not talking about my children or husband but about My Mum Dad and Sister
The thing is that I had a really good relationship with my sister a good few year back but as days went by our bond weaken and the rest of family ohhh I need to start from beginning it gonna be long post

Part 1 '' so why oh why everything went down ''

So my childhood wasn't the best despite what my Mother thinks  for sure
I was growing in normal as its seems family 2+2 format From the outside we're perfect loving family the inside was worse fulfilled with hate and constant fights My Dad was from broken home he never had a father figure and his mum well she was there but rarely So he wasn't able to function as normal member of any family My mum well she had not as ruff as my dad but still very very strict parents She wasn't able to go anywhere or do stuff she wanted to do She had to follow rules and that's it So them being together was a shock for anyone who know them The first hiccups start straight after wedding and main problem was both families hate each other So the young couple end up fighting over it almost everyday You may ask did they even loved each other well apparently they did cuz they still together despite all things they've been thru  After a 3 years of marriage they decide for a baby and that's how my sister appeared  With baby cam more and more problems cuz both Father and Mother family knew best how to rase a child So after another 2 years I was born well I wasn't planed like my sister ( to save marriage ) so it was a bit struggle for both of them again ( They were fairly young and not prepared for me or my sister at all ) After me my mum decided well no more surprises They start to focus on raising me and my sister the best they could but wasn't as good as they though After a while my father started to drink huge amount of anything with alcohol My mum tried to hide it from us that we could be happy children  after a while she try to fight with it ( at that point we were aware what's going on ) But in the end she was like f*ck it at least they have a father and just lear to live with it If U asking me it was a hugeeeee mistake but she was so weak and not adult enough she just chose to not see thing or hear and the worst not react to anything what was happening at our perfect house And at that point the all hell break loose He start to drink more and more hit shout abuse verbally Worst time of my life and I was just 7 and my sister was 9 and our mum well she didn't have strength anymore at lest that what she said most of the time Years passed by we growth out of few things an start to fight ourselves so house was constant battlefield Eventually when I was 16 he suddenly stopped drinking I don't know why  I didn't ask till this day why he stopped In the end it was better When I was 19 I went on my own job boyfriend etc still got few problems with my dad this time more painful cuz he was sober So I guess being angry was in his blood My sister went on her own as well so they stayed alone just 2 of them And  it was almost 20 years from that day and everyone was ok till 3 years ago hugeeeeeeeee fight started again this time not my dads fault at all ...tbc

Thinking back Yes I regret so many things So many times I wanted to shout in my mother face its all your fault you never fought for us never defended us You just sit there spoiled princess to tired to work and take care of your own children And to my father that he destroyed my view how good family should look men  relationship etc That I was small child who didn't want to hear all those horrible things he said and shouted at day to day basics And that sometimes I was more grownup than they were  And now after all those years when I try to say something that it was their fault All I can hear in replay
Others have worse childhood
U should be happy we did all we could at that time
Stop the drama please why it has to be always our fault ..god
You always blame us.....


Then I'm lost for word and thank God for my husband and children cuz we have fantastic life :)

Listening ..

Problems with Listening My Kids have that all the time Daddy has it as well So in the end no one listen  And my house is pure chaos I tried everything charts, rewards etc nothing seems to work and they still have selecting hearing Sometimes just think that the best solution would be buying earplugs
Now that's why I'm just dreading Sunday cuz its our shopping day Whit all the kids it will be hell but it has to be done otherwise we gonna starve No one said its gonna be easy !!!!!!!!!!! well maybe the perfect suburbs mums

Well I needed to start somewhere ....

So being in need of starting a new chapter on web I've decided that I would love to participate in social media like  FB or TWTR And that's how I started my adventure to create an account 
First one was FB I swear I never been there so it was a new experience for me the whole question were U live what's your education etc etc crazy I know its supposed to help to find your friends but common that much info even my doc don't know that much about me But I did it anyway after much struggle then the next step photos settings and security to be honest I wanted a place to just post some pictures comment on events and maybe write some of my thoughts but I find it Well a little bit too young and missleding for me I dont know why it just didnt felt good in the end canceled the account 
Then the turn came for TWTR well the whole thing is similar to FB but looks more personal the feeling of the page It was all new to me so little bit hard to understand what to do and who to follow etc  Defo less info and more freedom But then again I was like maybe its not for me I wanted to cancel but I've read about the structure of tweet that its short U can post like just a though and that's it nothing more So I though thats what I was looking for its perfect for my bitchy days and moaning thoughts !! But I need it on my phone and then the batlle started How to put the bloody TWRT on my phone Well it took me about hour to find good clear app Then seting it up a while as well but in the end I've succeed so I'm very pleased with myself LET THE BITCHING COMMENCE